Game or Not?
by Itachiforever342
Summary: Collab fic with N8theGr8. The World has always been touted as the most immersive virtual reality gaming experience ever, but when a game portal transports a character to Gaea, one player may have more of an adventure than she bargained for... Crossover with .hack/G.U.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Whatever OCs appear are mine and the plot, but nothing else, so you can't sue me!

This is the first collab fic I've posted, with my best buddy friend N8theGr8! Say hello to my readers!

N8: Oh crap, you're actually posting this?! Help! I'm trapped in Itachiforever342's basement!

Me: Don't listen to him! He's crazy!

N8: If I say hello, can I get some food?

Me: You already said hello, so I don't have to feed you!

N8: *whimpers*

Me: Hush you!

This is a crossover fic, and since there is no options on the site for this crossover, it's .hack/G.U. and Escaflowne!

Here we go! I hope everyone enjoys this!

* * *

**Game or Not?**

The familiar hum of her VR setup was music to her ears. A two hour meeting in the morning set the tone for a perfectly unproductive day. She knew there was only one cure: logging on to "The World". Seconds later the short cat girl player character looked around the Sigma Server's root town Breg Epona. Dozens of other players shopped, formed parties, or stood around chatting. The mass of voices made all but the nearest conversations unintelligible.

"… just got this from that raid last night."

"Dude, have you been to…"

"Terror of Death? I fought 'im once…"

"…never seen anything like it."

"They need to bring back Monsieur…"

"How I mine for fish?"

"Who'd win? ToD or Tri Edge?"

_The chats about the Terror of Death are still all the rage. Every Player Killer, is asked about a "Tri Edge". If they don't know anything, they get PKed. The Terror of Death is something of a hero to the n00bs because he's a Player Killer Killer. There are so many rumors that I don't know what to believe anymore._

"Are you Kari396?" a random PC asked.

The cat girl/Adept Rogue nodded. "Yeah, what about it?"

"You went through the Forest of Pain, right? And you survived?"

"Yeah, what about it? I quit once I got to the end. Decided that it wasn't my thing. I prefer normal areas, anyway."

"Could you please, please, _please_ join my guild? Here, I even have a guest card."

_What is with everyone and joining a guild? I don't need anyone to help me level up, I know all the "Repth" spells that I get from leveling up, which I don't particularly need. _Kari, or Kari396 as her screen name said, pushed the card away. "No thanks."

"But why?! You could at least protect our group as we level up! It isn't safe with all the PKers and the Terror of Death roaming around! You're only a few levels shy of him, too!"

Kari shook her head. "No thanks, I don't _ever_ want to go against him. I might be level one-thirty, but that doesn't mean that I'm even slightly on par with him. First of all, he uses three types of weapons. I only use one. Second, he doesn't care who gets in his way, if they're useless, he PKs them. I actually don't fight other PCs, even if I wanted to, because I'm not as cruel as to PK someone. And third, the guy's a couple sandwiches short of a picnic. I, on the other hand, am quite down to Earth and don't want to get PKed by the infamous Haseo. Anything else you'd like to say?"

The PC huffed and accused, "You're just afraid of him."

The blue-haired cat girl snorted. "Of course I am! And for good reason, too! I heard he PKed one hundred PKers at once without breaking a sweat! Why wouldn't I have a generous amount of fear for him?! Don't say that you're not dead scared of him, even though you're bad-mouthing _me_!"

The other character quivered and then ran away, calling, "I'm sorry I bothered you!"

A sigh escaped her lips at that. _Geez. Really, what _is_ with _everyone_ and joining a guild? True, there is strength in numbers, but the Terror of Death seems to be pretty strong on his own. Even though I am almost at his level and I nearly completed the Forest of Pain, that doesn't mean that I can take him. Even _I_ know that, and I've never faced him, or even seen him, besides in the pictures people put on the forum._

Looking at the list of items she had in stock, she knew that she was ready for another round of leveling up. Some people called her a "level grinder" because she was always leveling up before going against a boss, making sure she was more powerful than it was. _I get all these rare items too, most of which I alchemize or sell, mostly sell. I go almost everywhere to get powerful. But even if I go to certain places, there are some items that can only be gotten if I participate in special events. The only one I've ever done is the Forest of Pain, and I didn't see the point in it, besides that there were really strong monsters for a hundred levels. I never did find the point as to what all that was for. Even though the Terror of Death did get the way he is now because he completed that event._

Shaking her head, she headed for the warp point. She had the best weapons, armor and accessories she could find, so it wouldn't be too easy for anyone to PK her. _And for good reason, too. That's why I leveled up so much._

She actually held some pretty strong armor and accessories that she couldn't even equip yet, that she'd found in some areas. Most other players would be scared of going to the places she went to, because she actually went to places that were five levels higher than she was so she could level up faster.

Arriving at the warp gate, she looked at the list of places she could go to. _Hmmm, let's see... Oh! Look at this one! I've never seen something like this before. Intriguing Mysterious Gaea...it sounds interesting. But it's a level one-forty...I'm not nearly high enough in level to go there without getting killed. Even six levels higher would really hurt. But ten...I don't have nearly enough healing items to keep my HP up from even glancing hits. Although...it might not be here when I get to one thirty-five. So, let's go!_

* * *

When the warp was complete, she found herself in an area she'd never even seen before. When she looked around, she couldn't find anything like the other areas. No monsters, no treasure chests, no Lucky or Unlucky Animals, no Chim to kick, nothing. "There's not even a return warp gate. How do I go back to town if there aren't any warp gates? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all."

Stretching, she reached behind her for her weapons and blinked when she felt the Twin Blades in sheaths starting at her hips to below the base of her tail. Drawing them, she saw they looked the same, but felt heavier. "They feel like my daggers in the real world. Must be a new patch."

Sheathing her Twin Blades, she started walking, heading for the wooded area. "Maybe I'll be able to find something in there. I just hope it isn't a monster that's higher in level than I am." When she thought about what she'd just said, she almost hit herself. "Idiot, of course all the monsters are gonna be higher in level than I am. It's a one-forty area, after all, if that's what it is."

Suddenly, she heard something behind her. Stiffening, she turned around. A huge dragon stood behind her, yellow eyes considering her. She drew her weapons, and it roared, before charging at her. Kari leaped, slashing at its back, only to find that her blades bounced off its tough hide. "No effect?! Is it a boss?"

In a surprising display of intelligence, the beast shifted its weight to its left foot and pivoted, slamming its heavily muscled tail into the girl's unarmored midsection. The impact lifted her feet off the ground, throwing her against the trunk of a tree. She felt two ribs shatter under the blow, and the tree added a third. Choking, she felt something warm dribbling down her chin, giving her mouth a copper taste. Wiping her face, she found it was blood.

_Why am I bleeding?! There's no blood in The World! It hurts to breathe...that's not right, either. What's going on here?_

The dragon locked its gaze on her. A fleshy pink tongue swiped over its scaly lips and it came forward, eager to have its meal.

In a last desperate act of defiance, her left hand whipped around, opening a wide gash on the creature's tongue with her dagger. The dragon recoiled from the sting, thrashing its head left and right and spraying turquoise blood. It drew its head back, two sacs on its chest glowing bright red as it sucked in air. A burst of flames spewed from the dragon's jaws.

A split second before Kari was incinerated, she heard an unfamiliar voice whoop, "BOOYAH!" and the fire halted. All she could see was an unkempt head of hair, bright orange.

_Orange? Who in The World has orange hair?_

It was as if she blinked and the dragon was lying on the ground, dead. Her savior placed his spear on the ground next to him, drawing a knife, almost a short sword, out of his belt, thrusting it into the soft underbelly. A disturbing squish followed, as he cut another gash perpendicular to the first.

_I'd barf if my chest didn't hurt so bad. I thought it would disappear. That's what usually happens to monsters._

As the man reached in and tore a round pink gem out of the dragon's heart, Kari thought, _Chest pain or not, I can't take it anymore,_ and she lost it.

"I track you for three days, and I fight you for just a little bit and you retreat! But you shoulda known better than to try and get away from _me_! I wonder how you cook dragon meat."

_It might be a good sell item, but why would he try to cook it? And why didn't the EXP show up above his head? Maybe I wasn't conscious for that._

He turned around, narrowed eyes accusing the injured girl. "As for you, don't _ever_ try to steal my kill again." His eyes widened in alarm. "By the Mystic Moon, you're a mess... What were you thinking, taking on dragon with only those two puny knives?"

"w0t j00 s4y?" she gasped. "D33z r ubr r4r3 t\/\/il\l b1adz."

"I can't understand you. What are you trying to say?"

"r j00 n00b? u h4\/z teh l337 n1nj4 sl1llz."

"I've been _all over_ Gaea and I have _never_ heard anybody talk like that. Where are you from?"

"25/f/jpn. u?"

"Huh?"

"a/s/l! j00 r t07l n00b!"

"I'd better take a closer look at you. Dragons aren't known for being gentle." He laid her gently on her back and opened up his medicine pouch. "You've got a couple of nasty gashes, but they're not life-threatening. The bigger problem is your ribs. If they're shattered like I think they are, you could be bleeding internally."

Kari felt a brief sting as a liquid poured over her wounds. Several small pricks followed, and a slight pulling sensation, as the needle and thread closed her lacerations. _Why doesn't he just use a...healing item? _Her mind was muddled from blood loss. _Is he a...foreigner? Is that...why he doesn't understand?_

"Now that that's taken care of, I'm going to have to take a closer look at your chest." He pulled the center zipper of her top, laying it out to either side.

_This...isn't right... What's...he doing...?_

His hands began feeling along her ribcage methodically. As they rose higher and higher, Kari heard alarm klaxons wailing in her head. In a moment of clarity she gripped the blade in her left hand and swung wildly. The spearman couldn't evade the strike completely and suffered a scratch on his right bicep.

"WTF r u d0in? th1s i5n'7 a pr0n gam3!"

"You're insane! I'm trying to save your life, and you act like I'm some pervert! You shouldn't move around, you could kill yourself."

Kari realized her mistake when a fresh wave of agony flared up in her chest.

"You've had your bottom three ribs on each side shattered. Since you've coughed up that much blood, I'm guessing that you've got some internal hemorrhaging. I may not look like it, but I've got some healer's training. I can't risk moving you without checking your insides," he tried to sound calm as he unrolled a surgical kit. He took a piece of leather, wrapped it around a stick, and placed it between the cat girl's teeth. "I'm sorry I don't have anesthetic, bite down hard."

_What's he gonna do?_

The sunlight glinted off of a scalpel and seconds later Kari felt a slash along her breastbone and all she could focus on was biting the leather as if she could make the pain go away by biting through it. As soon as the incision was opened fully, the impromptu surgeon gasped. Most of the bone fragments had stayed in place, but three were driven into her liver, as well as one in the right lung. He reached inside with his forceps and removed the shard from her lung first. Kari coughed up more blood, but her breathing was slightly easier. The other pieces came out just as smoothly, and soon Kari once again felt the poke-and-tug of the needle.

_If this is normal game play, then I'm canceling my subscription. This is _way_ more than I can handle._

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she passed out, and the three pieces of the leather-bound stick dropped out of her mouth.

* * *

Anybody confused yet? Anything you want to know, just ask! I can explain things as well as I can!

For now, we will part and see you next time! *nudges N8*

N8: Send help...

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Escaflowne and .hack/G.U., but I can't even find the DVDs and I suck at playing the games!

N8: *breathes heavily in relief* She promised to let me out once this chapter was done, but she says she won't feed me until somebody reviews!

Me: *sparkly grin* Please don't let my co-writer die! We welcome constructive criticism! It makes our writing better!

N8: Soooo...hungry...

Me: Last chapter was pretty much just an introduction of the world Kari was from, so here's more of the Esca world for you! We hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Kari fought to regain consciousness, but it was like swimming through a vat of glue. Her ears picked up what sounded like two men in the middle of a discussion.

"…had to take some desperate measures out in the field. These are the rib fragments I had to remove," the same man's voice from before explained.

"This girl is barely alive. What on Gaea were you doing out there? …" an older man's voice demanded.

The voices faded as she lost consciousness again.

* * *

A cold puff of air woke Kari from her sleep, and she sat up, only to wince as fire shot through her torso. _Oh, ow. What happened? Where am I?_

Glancing about, she saw a window was open and moved to close it, only to find that there wasn't any glass. _What the..._ Her eyes widened as she looked to the outside.

Japanese-type buildings with a slight European touch across a cobblestone street met her eyes. "What the…? Is this a connecting server? I've never heard of one that was _this_ far back in history. It looks like the feudal era."

She winced as her movements jarred her wounds and she looked down to see that bandages were wrapped around her bare midriff. "I've never just blacked out like that. Why does it still hurt? Wait, why did it hurt in the first place?!"

The sound of wood sliding against wood drew her attention from the window, for her to see a beast man, gray-brown fur all over him and wearing what seemed to be a monk's garb, in the doorway. His gentle brown eyes looked her over and he scowled. "Miss, you should really be lying down right now."

"I'm feeling much better now," she protested, moving to stand but a stabbing sensation forced her to obey the newcomer's order.

"That's better." The wolf man came over and checked the bandages. "I've never seen wounds this bad from a normal creature in the forests..." His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Did a dragon attack you?"

"Yes, it did. I was no match for it, though. It was way too high in level for me."

"Dragons are very dangerous, even to us beast men, Miss." He seemed to be ignoring her latter comment. "You were lucky to have survived. If the man who brought you in hadn't been there, you would've been eaten."

Her ears pricked up at the mention of the man she'd seen before. "The guy who saved me? Where is he?"

"I sent him to purchase some herbs for your treatment."

"HEY DOC! I got the stuff!"

"Lemme guess, that's him," Kari said dryly.

"Very perceptive," the doctor replied.

The door flew open and the stranger placed a pouch full of herbs and a few pieces of fruit on the examination room table before plopping onto a stool next to the bed.

"Good to see you're awake, Miss Kitty. Doc, the peddlers were trying to rip me off right and left; I went and picked these myself. Here's your gold."

"Thank you."

"I suppose it's past time I introduced myself. The name's Hank. I hunt rare beasts, treasure, and experiences. I've been everywhere from Asturia to Zaibach. My latest—"

"Doctor Vlad! I'm here!"

"My clinic _used_ to be nice and quiet."

A cat girl scampered in, putting her hands over his eyes. "Guess who!"

"Uh... Surely His Majesty has better things to do than play games with a lowly doctor!"

"I wonder if a few scratches would improve your memory."

"Oh, Lady Merle, how could it be anyone but you!"

Hank clenched his fists. "Why do I always get interrupted during my introduction speech? I got half a mind to tell you—You are the most enchanting creature I've ever laid eyes on."

Kari stared, amazed at how the light played along the wealth of rose-colored tresses that hung below her shoulders which framed a face that was midway between innocent and sultry with eyes just a hair shy of navy blue. Her ears were white on the inside but black on the outside, as they flicked back and forth. Black stripes adorned her cheeks, upper arms, midriff and thighs. A simple halter top, short shorts and sandals was all she had on, save a pair of silver bracelets.

"Where on Gaea did you get the idea that I actually cared?"

Hank's face immediately collided with the floor and his feet twitched several times.

_Boy, these characters get weirder and weirder._

"So Doc, who's the new arrival I've heard about?"

"This is her."

Kari, who had sat up at the new arrival, squirmed as she was put on the spot. She scratched the back of her head, grinning sheepishly. "Um...hi. I'm Kari. I'm a level one-thirty Adept Rogue, I'm twenty-five years old."

"Level...wha...? What are you talking about? You look younger than me!"

_These NPCs aren't too bright. Or maybe they're just programmed to think this is real. Maybe I'll just play along for now. _"My head just feels so..." She held her forehead, faking a headache.

"This is a clinic, not a social hall. All this must be tiring her out, so you two need to leave now." Doctor Vlad shooed them out, Merle complaining the whole time.

"Aw, I wanted to stay and chat a while!"

"Later milady. Beggar or queen, this is my clinic and my word is law! Even His Majesty respects my will!"

* * *

A few days later, Doctor Vlad ordered, "Take off your clothes and lie on the exam table. I need to do a final check-over before I can release you."

_Is that even possible? I thought you couldn't take off clothes...but then again...Hank's little "stunt"... Okay, I guess you can in this server. _She turned her back and started to strip, unzipping her top.

When she was done, she did as she was told and laid down on the table, staring up at the ceiling. "Okay, get it over with, please."

The doctor poked and prodded at her, especially around her ribs. "Everything feels alright."

"You touch anywhere that isn't necessary and I'll claw your eyes out."

"Uncomfortable?"

"I'm about as comfortable as any woman can be with an old man feeling her up."

"My dear, I assure you I'm a professional. That, and my wife would murder me. The incision is healing nicely, and a minor healing spell sufficed for your shattered ribs. Hank's skills have improved from the time I first taught him."

"You know Hank?"

"Do you actually think I would send some orange-haired yahoo to get vital medical supplies without knowing him very well? He was my apprentice for about...two weeks. Then he got bored and went back to whatever the Zaibach he does."

"Well, that doesn't surprise me," she grumbled.

"What surprises me is your physiology. Your body is all but furless, I don't see any markings, and your teeth are identical to a human's. Are you sure you're a Beast-woman?"

"Of course I am!" She stood up and went for her clothes. "I chose this on the character creation screen, what else would I be?"

Before the doctor could reply, the door flew open and Hank stepped in. "Hey Miss Kitty, are you done yet?!" He paused with his eyes glued to the scene before him. "Uh…uh…"

"WTFWTFWTF?! I ki11 j00 p3r\/!"

She pounced on him and started to clobber him.

The doctor coughed. "Given your current state of dress, you might want to rethink your actions."

Her face turned crimson and she jumped off him, scrambling for her clothes.

Hank now sported several bruises and a couple scratches. "I regret nothing…"

She put her gloves on last and noticed something odd. "Hey…my gloves don't fit."

Doctor Vlad took off her glove and showed her hand to her. "Your claws are out because you were upset."

"But I never had claws before, my PC doesn't have claws."

"Well apparently you have claws now. Let me fix your gloves to accommodate them."

He cut the fingers off the black gloves and Kari put them back on, staring at her hands. "That looks so weird." _I guess it does work._

Hank came to and commented, "Actually it looks pretty badass, Miss Kitty."

"j00 say $um7il\l P3r\/?"

"What did you say?! Doc, what is she saying?!"

"She called you a pervert, Hank."

"How can you understand what she's saying?!"

"What, you can't?"

"Would I ask you if I did?!"

"j00 l\l07 kl\l0w jpl\l3s3?"

"Hey doc, can she understand us?"

"She's speaking perfect common, albeit with a strange accent."

"Are you going senile?! It's gibberish!"

"I've never heard of the Gibbers, or would that be Gibberese?"

"Get serious, Doc!"

"All joking aside, she seems to be capable of normal communication with Beast-folk, I don't think I've ever heard of something like this."

"Well, it's annoying!"

"If you're leaving, why do you care?"

"I just wanna make sure she's okay! It wouldn't be right for me to save her from a dragon just to let her starve to death!"

Just then, a small boy raced in, holding a note high above his head. "Urgent message to Doctor Vladimir!"

"Give it here lad." Doctor Vlad held out his hand for the note, opening it, the boy dashing back out. "Oh, it's sealed with the royal crest." He muttered as he read it.

Hank grew impatient and grabbed the paper out of the Beast-man's paws. "Gimme that! You're taking forever!"

Doctor Vlad jabbed his first two fingers into Hank's kidney. Hank stiffened and fell over, twitching. "You should have respect for your elder's privacy."

Kari tilted her head to the side. "I thought you doctors were supposed to be gentle."

"If you had waited five more seconds, I would've read it to you, since you're mentioned in its contents."

Kari's ears twitched, perking up as she paid closer attention.

" 'His Majesty, King Van Salazar de Fanel, and the Lady Merle cordially invite you to attend their wedding ceremony tomorrow morning as a guest of honor. Lady Merle also wishes to extend an invitation Sir Hank and Lady Kari for the wedding feast and ball. We look forward to sharing this joyous occasion with you all.' "

"What the crap?! Invited to the royal wedding?! What'd you do old man, pull a sliver out of the king's butt?!"

"Watch your mouth or your other kidney is next."

"I'll be good," Hank squeaked.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Lady Merle and I are good friends."

"Man, you've got some connections."

Kari questioned, "Why were Perv and I invited? Is this some kind of special event for this server?"

"Well Kari, Lady Merle is known for making good friends very quickly. And I can see she took a liking to you right away. As for Hank, I have no idea. Perhaps she just didn't want him to feel left out."

"What?! I'm a _PITY_ guest?!"

Doctor Vlad promptly ignored him.

* * *

"What is it with rich people and uncomfortable clothes?! Does having money make your sense of touch disappear?!" Hank complained.

"If you'd stop complaining, this wouldn't take so long," the doctor reprimanded. "Of course it's not going to fit well. I'm trying to fit you into one of _my_ old outfits, since you're too cheap to buy your own. You don't hear Kari complaining."

Indeed Kari's seamstress was quite skilled with her alterations. Her name was Helga, and was Doctor Vlad's wife. As far as Kari could tell, she was about the same age as her husband, but had somehow aged much better than he had.

"Oh yes my dear, this will look positively ravishing on you."

Kari looked down at the crimson dress. The neckline was straight, exposing a bit of cleavage, the sleeves falling off her shoulders, giving an impression of a strapless dress. The bodice showed a little of her curves, the skirt flaring out as it came to an end at her ankles. Shiny red heeled sandals adorned her feet, unlike her usual closed-toe boots. White evening gloves that reached almost to her sleeves. She felt uncomfortable showing so much skin.

_Even though this isn't really my body, I still feel embarrassed._

"Ah, you fill it out better than I did!"

"It's a little tight…"

"It was designed that way."

"Are you sure it's okay for me to wear this?"

"Of course, I've only worn it once, it seems kind of a waste. I'm glad someone came along who could put it to good use."

"You only wore it once? Why?"

"Oh, Vlad thought it was too scandalous and would never let me wear it out of the house again."

Kari blushed on every visible inch of her skin. _Vlad was right! Why is she having me wear it then?!_

Helga fastened a necklace around Kari's neck and stepped back to view her masterpiece. "Wonderful, now you're done."

Kari twirled, then jerked as the door was thrown open. "Hey, are you read—Nice legs, Miss Kitty-cat."

She kicked at him, and the shoe flew off, nailing him in the head. "Ouch! What'd you do that for?!"

"Not too bright, are you Hanky?" Helga chortled.

"Stop calling me that!" Hank protested.

"If you would stop being such a snot, I would." Helga turned to Kari to give her one last bit of advice. "Okay, now be careful not to lean over."

Kari turned redder than ever and yelled, "HAVE SOME SHAME, WOMAN!"

* * *

Me: How was the chapter? Some new characters were introduced, yes, most of them were OCs, but never fear! More Esca characters will appear next chapter, promise!

N8: Do I have to go back into the basement now?

Me: You've been a good help, not yet!

N8: But still...so...hungry...!

Me: Your feedback _feeds_ my co-writer!

Please review!


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